Imagine being alone locked in the comfort of your home. No one to talk to. No one to eat with. Basically being alone.
There are a lot of moments during the ECQ where I had thoughts of self pity hahaha. When anxiety are kicking in. Moments where you felt so alone. Moments where you wished you had that special someone. Moments where I wanted everything dark. Flashes of memories when you felt you were abandoned by someone.
However, along with those bad moments comes an array of memories where I felt I was loved. Moments when you were struggling but someone came and stayed by your side. Moments when someone understands your inner feelings when that someone listens to your rants just so I can unload and move forward.
That is when positivity feels my tarnished emotion and starting to make myself useful again. That is when I told myself that there should be something I needed to do so I wouldnt feel anxious and not to feel alone.
1. I started to blog. Blogging or Writing consumes my time. It makes me wander. It is where I could exhaust my emotion. It is an activity that keeps my mind active and focused on the things I wanted to say.
2. I check my Social Media regularly. It is where I kept myself informed as to what is going on with my loved ones or the people I care. It is an avenue for me to socialize and chat and talk with my family and friends. At least it is an avenue where I could see how someone so dear is doing :).
3. Watching My Favorite Series also keeps me in love, motivated, and above all it keeps me entertained.
4. Reading keeps my imagination going hahahaha it somehow brings me to a different world where negativity do not prosper.
5. Household Chores my form of exercise. Its time to slowly get rid some of the memories stuck in my house. Throwing them away somehow is also a theraphy as I try to throw away those emotion that comes along with these things.
6. Exploring my creative venture through sewing and beading.
During these time in EXTENDED COMMUNITY QUARANTINE/ LOCKDOWN due to the COVID PANDEMIC, falling into depression or anxiety attacks may kick in more so if you are alone like me. But there are ways to combat it. It is by doing something that you love. Doing something that keeps your body active and your mind working or wander around through reading or writing. Its up to you there are alot of activities that we can do.
Withdrawing money or going to the bank is a struggle. Imagine, I am only at least a kilometer or 2 away to a mall near me, however, because that mall is part of different city as I am near that boundary and because Of the implemented lockdown I cannot cross the border. The military men dont allow me even though I beg as the next bank/atm near me is at least 5 or 6 kilometers away and I would need to walk to get there since I dont have a car or there is no public transportation that I can take to get me to a bank.
Work from home at last! Fortunately the company allowed us to work from home! At least I wont loose a job and I am able to continue working. Good thing the company is generous enough to lend us the desktop in the office and provide as router so we could do our job.
THE FOOD – I call it my #ECQFOOD
THE SERIES – watching these series is making me sane and definitely one of those moments where to keeps me excited. At least there are these days of the week where I am looking forward to because the new episode are being aired and when I had anxious feeling or I felt bored and alone I just re-watched those series that keeps me happy!
Every Saturday is MY ENGINEER night!
My Friday is of course 2gether The Series night
And there are series that I really love that I keep on watching anytime and every time I am bored! And click here to see them all.
Doing What You Love
I remember there was a time during the lockdown where I just felt so sad all of a sudden. I woke up one night and I felt so scared. I am scared to turn on the lights because I felt that someone will barge into my house and take whatever they want to take. I felt that if I open the lights someone will come and attack me. I felt terrible. I wanted to cry but I cant. I wanted to scream but I cant. I wanted to hug someone but I just have my pillow with me. My body is numb and I am shaking fearing the unknown. I was just relieved that it happen when during my day off. So I did not go out/open mg window for the whole weekend. I just woke up to simply go to the wash room and even so, I felt terrible moving.
And then on a Sunday evening, I remember a conversation I had with a friend/mentor. I remember him saying I can do it. “Its all in the mind. Its mind over matter Charlton. Pray!” Those were the words. So I bravely woke up from bed and just bravely open the lights and utter a prayer.
I saw boxes on the side so I started cleaning some of it and found some of the beads I used to have stuck in those boxes. So I bring them out. At first I thought of making some necklaces out of this beads. But then I remember Heart Evangelista with her self made mask. So I thought of making my own mask. Then later started making other things out of an okd jeans. I was able to make a pouch, a pen holder, a mask all with beads and pearls in it. Which I will be posting in a different blog post.
By making my own mask and other craft, I was able to overcome that anxiety. Sometimes, I felt a little strange. Sometimes at work I become anxious which is very visible in my calls because I dont have the same energy that I used to have but with a piece of cloth, a theead, a needle and lots of beads I am able to control things. It helps ease my mind. It helps calm my nerves. I found a way to debunk that odd feelings by doing what I love doing.
Click here for my NEW NORMAL LOOK PART 1https://projectmountainalphabet.wordpress.com/2020/05/31/new-normal-look/
On Social Media
Social media is very helpful to me during all these time. It keeps me updated with what is going on with my friends. Chat with my friends and relatives. See who’s trending. See new fashion statement, watch some english sub Thai series and movies. And many other things.
However there was also a point where I just post something in my facebook just to let my friends know and family that “I am OK and I am well” and just turn it off because I dont want to see peoples reaction, rants and all the other negative stuff. I just wanna stay away with all those negativity.
So staying in social media can be helpful but sometimes it can also be devastating more so if you are anxious and you see people ranting and angry and many other bad vibes sort of comments. So if this happen just turn it off and do some other things maybe create your own facemask too.
Its ok to feel anxious during this time but you should have an alternatives and activities to keep your mind busy and to keep you sane. What about you what is your journey during this lockdown? Tell me your story I would love to hear and learn from it too by commenting it in the comment section.
My Journey My Life 
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